A few weeks ago I posted about how I got Max to sleep through the night at only four months old. I was pretty proud of myself and really thought I had it all figured out! A few of my mom friends texted me asking if it was true- and it really was! Up to that day, Max had been sleeping through the night because I was following the Moms on Call schedule and doing things I had posted about in that blog post. But as soon as I pushed publish on that post, Max stopped sleeping through the night. I felt so silly! I had just told all of my readers and friends that I had all these methods of getting Max to sleep, and suddenly in one night they all failed me. I feel like it’s important to post this though because motherhood is not linear. What works one day is not going to work the next every time, and as a new mom, that’s something it’s taken me a while to learn. I’m not used to things being so up and down, but Max has other plans, and that’s okay! Being a new mama is a learning experience every day.

The first week that he started getting up was pretty tough. He was getting up more than he ever had, even more than when he was a newborn. I think he was up every two hours for like four or five days straight. And unfortunately, I am not one of those lucky people that can just fall right back to sleep after being woken up, so I think I got a total of 8 hours of sleep total in those four or five days. I felt like a zombie. I reached out to one of my mom friends who had just posted on instagram about co-sleeping with her newborn, which I thought might be easier since Max was waking up so frequently seemingly starving. If he was in our bed I figured it would be easier to nurse and then just fall right back to sleep, so I wanted to try it. If you’re against co-sleeping and you are a mom shamer- don’t come for me. Many people co-sleep, I was sleep deprived and needed to try something different.

My mom friend that I reached out to, Christina, (@helloim_Crew on instagram- a micro premie with an amazing story that you should check out!) happened to be awake nursing her baby at 3am one night, and she talked me through co-sleeping. She sent me guidelines which are very helpful if you’re wanting to try co-sleeping but are a little nervous because it’s seemingly against the rules. She told me that a lot of new moms are afraid to co-sleep, but most of the time they just don’t realize it can be done safely. She’s really helpful to follow too if you’re interested in extended breastfeeding. She recently posted about breastfeeding through her pregnancy on her tiktok, which you can find her at @therealcmr. These are the guidelines she sent me:

We are generally not co-sleeping with Max because I think sometimes Max is a light sleeper, and he wakes up when we move around at all which is a little counterproductive. However, on the nights (like just last night!) that he seems like he’s constantly hungry, I use co-sleeping to make it easier on all of us. We try to stick to doing the same thing every night, but some nights Max being in the crib just doesn’t work for us. Christina told me that her youngest loves co-sleeping, but her middle son just wanted to play when she tried it with him, so it really depends on the baby for what works for them.

We also decided to switch up a few other things, and I’ve done a few things for myself to keep my energy up as well. I’m working full time from home, and I want to be the best version of myself for Max, sleep or no sleep. So here are a few other tips that we’ve used:

1.) Start a bedtime routine

Last week I was with two old friends of mine that also have babies, one of which has four kids and the other has a four month old. Chris, the one with the four month old, was talking about his baby and how he and his wife have a bedtime routine with the baby. Kyle, the one with the four kids told us how his wife was great about sleep training their babies as well, and how she was strict with their bedtime routine starting at 7pm, but that it made all the difference in them getting their kids to sleep. So after talking to them, we decided we would start a bed time routine as well. We now start his bedtime routine at 7pm with a bath, lavender lotion, feeding, and then reading a book. It takes about 45 minutes, so he’s usually in bed by about 8pm, and so far (knock on wood!!!) most of the time has been only getting up one time per night.

2.) Nap when you can

I’m not going to sit here and tell you to nap when the baby naps because I think that’s a load of crap. It’s next to impossible to sleep during the day when you’re working, or when you’re trying to get things done because you have housework and a million things to do, or if you have other kids. Nap when you can, if you can. I generally can’t because of work, but on the really tough days that I feel like I got zero sleep at night, taking even just a twenty minute nap has been really helpful. I usually take lunch while Max is awake, but some days if I’m really tired, I use my lunch break to sleep while Max is napping and it definitely makes me feel a little bit better.

3.) Workout if you can

On the days that I wake up exhausted, even though it seems like it wouldn’t help, working out usually gives me a little boost of energy. Even if I just put Max in the carrier and go for a quick walk, I come back more energized than if I try to sit on the couch or floor with him and play. I think the fresh air helps too, so try to get outside if you can!

4.) Talk to your mom friends

Chances are you are not alone in whatever you are going through. I have a few mom friends that I usually reach out to, one of which seems to go through the exact same thing at the exact same time as me, every single time. Usually when her baby is not sleeping, Max is not sleeping. We’ve even had the same heart issues with our babies around the same time, so it’s been really helpful to have someone to talk to that knows what I’m going through. I’ve also found that although I love reaching out to my mom friends that have had their babies for a while for advice, it’s easier for me to talk to other moms that are going through what I’m going through right now, as opposed to someone that has an older baby, just because they can relate more. And if you need a friend to talk to but don’t have many new mom friends- I’m always here for whoever needs to talk!

5.) Go easy on the caffeine

The first thing I started doing when Max wasn’t sleeping was reaching for extra cups of coffee. There are two reasons I’ve decided that this was not as helpful as I wanted it to be, and I suppose both of these depend on the person. For one, I crash from caffeine, no matter how small my intake. I’m really sensitive to it, so even decaf I can feel a difference. If you’re like me, you’ll feel better for a total of maybe two hours, when you’ll start to crash and be reaching for another cup! I am also breast feeding, and because of Max’s heart I learned that the caffeine does pass through the breast milk to the baby, and babies under six months can be sensitive to it. So while you’re caffeinating yourself, you can also be making it difficult for your baby to sleep. If you’re finding that your baby is fussy and won’t sleep long, it might be a good idea to cut down or eliminate caffeine for a week or two and see if that helps.

The most important thing to note from this post is that most of this is constantly changing, so don’t feel like you have to stick to one thing that worked in the past because it might not always work. I held on to the fact that Max had been sleeping through the night with the way things were before for like three weeks before I decided to change it up. Being a new mom is a learning experience all the time. Make sure you take care of you, and change it up if things aren’t working for you!