If I had a dime for every time someone said to me “Everything is going to change!” when I was pregnant, I could probably start Max’s college fund. And as someone who doesn’t LOVE change, I didn’t love hearing that. I was so excited for my baby to come, but I still wanted to be me! So many people talk about how they lost themselves or how hard it was those first few months, and they all had me a little panicked.

Now that Max is here- although yes, a lot has changed- there is still quite a bit I do every day to make sure I still feel like myself. They might be small things, and maybe they’re things that should go without saying, but sometimes when you’re a new mom, you forget you. Here’s what I did to make sure I still felt like me:

1.) Shower… every day

I know, I know, I shouldn’t even have to say this one. But seriously some moms just don’t think that they can! One of my friends has an awesome little girl who is pretty independent and super friendly at only 2 years old, and when I asked if she had any advice, she said “don’t be the mom that’s afraid to shower”. So after hearing that, I made sure that even after my husband Brian went back to work and I was alone with Max, I made time to shower. Some days that means he’s in a bouncy seat in the bathroom with me, some days it’s during a nap, but every single day I make sure to just take those ten minutes for myself, and it makes a world of difference.

2.) Go for a walk

It’s no secret that sunshine can make you feel better for a wide variety of different reasons. It improves your mood, helps you sleep better, increases your vitamin D, gives you stronger bones and can even lower your blood pressure. When I feel stir crazy or like I need to reset, I take Max for a walk and it really helps. Max loves being in his car seat or carrier, so depending on how athletic I’m feeling, I either take the stroller or carry him on me for an extra exercise boost. Even just a quick fifteen minute walk around the neighborhood can totally change my mood.

3.) FaceTime your friends or spend time with them if you can

This would probably normally just say spend time with your friends, but because of Covid, that wasn’t much of an option for me even when I was pregnant. FaceTime came in really handy these last few months. I have relied heavily on my friends and family for emotional and mental support, and I am blessed with quite a few people I can reach out to when I need someone. I can’t stress enough how important it is to keep those connections.

I was really worried about PPD and how I would handle being alone all the time when Brian went back to work, but I talk to or FaceTime with at least one of my friends or my sister every day and it’s been so helpful. They love seeing Max without the risk of getting him sick, and I get the social interaction that some of us lose as new mamas, especially now with Covid.

One other thing that I do, and this will depend on your comfort level with the pandemic, is that I will go for walks with my friends, especially other new moms. One of my friends and I were meeting up at a boardwalk to walk with our babies every week. We felt comfortable knowing the other one was being safe about the pandemic since we both had babies, and being outside was even better. Just being able to relate and talk to someone going through all of the things I am going through as a new mom made me feel so much better.

4.) Do your hair and makeup

Okay when I say do your hair and makeup, I don’t mean like a date night look or anything crazy. A little bit goes a long way when you’re sleepy and still getting comfortable with your new body.

For me, just throwing on some undereye concealer, a little bit of mascara and throw in a little bit of hair product to tame your mane (I have naturally curly hair so I use this SheaMoisture Curl Mousse, this mascara that I LOVE, and this concealer that I think everyone loves) makes me feel like a real human again. I used to wear eyeliner every day too so sometimes I’ll throw that on to, but do whatever makes you feel most beautiful.

5.) Self Tanner

I realize this one might not be for everyone, but some of my friends introduced me to self tanner/spray tans a few years ago, and man oh man, what a game changer for me. I’m going to be honest here, there have only been a handful of times in my life that I can say that I felt pretty without much effort. I don’t have great skin and I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time with my hair and makeup… it’s more of a fake it and hope you’ll make it type of look for me.

So when I came home from the hospital and looked in the mirror and wasn’t feeling great about how I looked, just putting on some self tanner even just on my face and neck made me feel a lot better. It’s worth a shot if you aren’t feeling like yourself, and it only takes about 10 seconds to put on. I use Loving Tan Mousse because I’m pretty pale and it doesn’t make me feel orange or anything like that. It makes me feel better every time I use it.

6.) Make your bed

I know this one sounds more like a chore, but hear me out. There are some days that I feel like it’s really hard to get anything done, which is not something I’m used to. I’m the type of person that always has a to do list and I love checking things off of my list as the day goes by. On those days, even if all did was make my bed, it made me feel like at least I got something done. I had read a few years ago about a speech that an Admiral made at a commencement speech for University of Texas which you can view here, but basically he’s saying if you start out the day accomplishing one task, it’s easier to propel forward to get more done, and that it helps to reinforce that little things matter and make a big difference. So if you’re like me and you like to get things done, try just making your bed in the morning and I promise it will make a difference.

7.) Wear clothes that make you feel good

Between having a totally different body, breast feeding, getting spit up on your clothes, and other glamours of motherhood, there isn’t a lot of motivation to wear anything other than sweats. Despite being super comfy and easy (and totally okay if that’s all you want to wear!), sometimes an outfit change can really improve your mood. For me, even if I just throw on some leggings and a sweater with a pair of cute earrings instead of sweatpants and a sweatshirt, it makes me feel a little bit more put together. Just like with the makeup, wear whatever makes you feel beautiful.

I realize that some of these are probably obvious to people, but when you have a newborn it can be hard to remember to take care of yourself. Even if it’s just a shower, I promise these little things will help make you feel so much better. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and your little one needs the best version of you, so if all it takes to feel better is a little gesture, make sure you do it!