Disclaimer- I am not a medical professional in any way; the things that I talk about in this post are simply what I’ve learned from my own research and doctors and how we’ve taken the information and used it during this time. Please consult your pediatrician and physician to find out what is best for you and your baby as far as Covid guidelines.

Bringing a newborn home is scary. I remember driving home from the hospital in the back seat kind of panicking that now we were responsible for this baby. It’s a crazy feeling. When we got home I sat in the car for a while before I went into the house, just sort of processing what was going to be our new life of caring for a child. And on top of the regular anxiety of caring for a newborn, new parents are dealing with a whole other level of responsibility, because now we have to try to keep our babies safe, and figure out how to bring home a newborn in a pandemic.

While I was pregnant I was nervous about Covid (read more about being pregnant in a pandemic here!) , but nowhere near how I’ve felt after having a baby, especially a baby with a heart condition. I’ve been scared that I’ll get it and I won’t be able to care for our baby, or that Brian will get it and he’ll have to quarantine away from us, or that Max will get it and end up in the hospital. With the numbers for Covid staying pretty high everywhere, especially here in Connecticut, it’s really important to stay safe, and especially to keep your baby safe.

The biggest challenge that we’ve found is there is so much contradicting information from every source. We took in as much information as we could from as many sources as we could- probably too much in all honesty- and we decided as a team what to do from there. We have seen people with babies handle this situation in a wide variety of ways, and none of them are right or wrong. So much of Covid is unknown, that you just have to do what you think is right as a parent. Staying true to what you feel is very important.

How we handled it

I’m a little hesitant to write this part because I don’t want people to just do what we did, so make sure to consult your doctor and do what they believe is right for you and your family. That being said, I wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t share what we did, because when I came home from the hospital I was looking everywhere for someone to tell me what they were doing and how they were handling everything just to not feel so alone in our decisions. We did a lot of research, and we talked to a lot of our friends with babies and our doctors to see what was recommended which I go into more detail about below.

What we ended up doing is staying home most of the time and really only letting our immediate family around the baby. When anyone is around us or the baby, family included, they are wearing masks, and of course washing their hands before coming into contact with Max. When the weather was nicer we did have a few friends over outside. We would sit on our back patio with our friends wearing masks, and we didn’t let anyone hold Max. I have been on maternity leave and will be working from home, but my husband is still going into work every day where he is wearing a mask at all times and washing his hands every chance he gets. When he comes home, before he comes near Max and I, he changes his clothes and washes up. We haven’t brought Max many places except for our families’ homes, and to a few parks and boardwalks for walks. For the holidays we saw only the grandparents, and my sister because she quarantined, had a Covid test, and then stayed with us for a week through Christmas.

There are a few exceptions that we did make. I took Max for walks with a few other mom friends outside, and because we had talked and they also had babies I felt comfortable walking with them without masks on because I knew that they were being safe as well. We also have been to my sister and brother-in-laws house a few times because both of them work from home, and they had a baby the week before Max was born so I know they are being as safe as possible too. The only time we really made exceptions was when we knew for sure that the people we were around were being just as cautious as we were.

There are a few things to keep in mind when you are deciding how you are going to handle bringing home a newborn in a pandemic, even with the vaccine out now. Here are the things that I found were most important:

It’s okay to be unsure

Because everything is so unknown with Covid still, and everyone has a different response, it’s normal to feel like you don’t know if what you’re doing is right. Sometimes I feel like there’s no right answer. I’m nervous that what we’re doing is hurting Max because he’s going to not have as many people around him so I’m not sure if he’ll be lacking socially. But then I’m nervous to bring more people around him because I don’t know who they’ve been around and where they’ve been or how his body will respond if he were to get the virus after having his heart go through so much when he was little. At the end of the day we are all just doing our best to keep going through all of the craziness, so don’t feel alone if you’re unsure that what you’re doing is right.

Feeling like you’re being overly cautious is normal

In the beginning I was going for walks with a friend of mine that had just had a baby as well. When I asked her how they were handling everything with Covid going on, she said “we’re pretty much being hermits”, and I laughed because that’s exactly how I felt.

I know that people without babies think that we are overreacting. And some people are not being as careful as we are and that’s okay. Sometimes it can be a little disheartening to see people out with their newborns knowing that we’re being so strict with everyone, but I keep reminding myself that I’m just doing what I think is best for Max, and people that are being more relaxed are doing what they think is best. There is no right or wrong way of doing things because everything is so unknown. There’s no way to know how the virus will affect babies, if it will at all, or how it changes from baby to baby, so it’s really important to just do what you feel comfortable with which brings me to my next point.

Do what you’re comfortable with

Everyone is going to have different opinions about this virus and how you are handling things. Everyone has different levels of comfort when it comes to socializing. The times that I felt the worst during this whole pandemic is when I would go totally out of my comfort zone to let someone come over or go near the baby when I wasn’t comfortable. Most people that wanted to see Max understood when I wasn’t comfortable, and they respected that. So whether you’re like me or you’re totally the opposite, just remember to do what you’re comfortable with because at the end of the day you have to know in your heart that what you’re doing is right, no matter how you are handling things.

Set your boundaries and stick to them

I am a people pleaser. I hate when people are mad it me- it drives me nuts! And I’m constantly trying to make everyone happy and not offend anyone. So saying no to people that want to hold Max or come over when I’m not comfortable with it has been really hard. But what I’ve realized is that if I don’t go through the moment of discomfort of saying no to people asking things I’m not ready for, then I have weeks of upset where I’m worrying and stressing about if Max is going to get sick. So even though at first it was really difficult, it’s been a lot easier and I’ve realized that most of the people in my life are really understanding. No one wants Max to get sick, and no one wants to be the one to get Max sick, and it will be the same for you and your baby. So after you do your research and decide what you think is best, make sure to stick to what you’ve decided, no matter how people react. You’re only doing what’s best for you and your baby.

Stay up to date on facts and research

There is so much information on Covid that is updated every day. I try hard not to watch too much of the news because I get overwhelmed easily, but I do watch sometimes to make sure I’m staying knowledgable about what’s going on. Besides what I’ve learned from the news, I have tried to stay updated on the most recent findings online for Covid, especially when it has to do with people my age or babies. Although there are limited studies on it because the virus is still only one year old, there are studies out there. Make sure you are reading and finding information from real sources. Some of the information that I’ve found has actually made me feel much better. One thing I’ve read a lot about is why children aren’t getting as sick as adults, and from what I understand (don’t quote me on this, I don’t have a science brain) it’s because children lack the receptors in their lungs for the virus so it doesn’t get them as sick as adults do. They have also been doing research on whether or not the antibodies can be passed through to the baby through breastmilk after the mother tests positive, but the results have been inconclusive and the studies have been small. I’m sure that eventually we’ll find out a lot more about how the virus affects babies and whether or not we can give our babies antibodies through breast milk, so it’s important to keep looking for that type of information as it comes out.

Talk to your doctors

Because of Max’s heart, I talked to a lot of doctors who had a lot of different opinions about what to do about Covid. One of his doctors told us that we should limit exposure to the outside world completely, so basically just have Max around Brian and I because there was going to be outside exposure from Brian working, and that was enough of a risk in and of itself. Another doctor told us that we could have our parents come over if they wore two masks and a gown with gloves, and they could hold Max only if they wore one of my husband’s shirts like a gown, along with their gloves. Another doctor told us that what we were doing was okay, that it wasn’t a bad idea to have people over outside as long as we were the only ones to hold Max and everyone had masks on. Another doctor told us that it would be nearly impossible to catch anything outside, so it’s best to be outside with anyone that wants to see Max. And a few doctors agreed with the studies that I had read, telling us that because babies do not have the receptors in their lungs, Covid doesn’t affect them nearly as bad as it does adults.

For some of his appointments I remember leaving just feeling really confused because each doctor had such a different opinion on what we should do, so I think it would probably be best to talk to one doctor that you really trust. I liked getting all of the different angles that each doctor gave us because I like to make sure that I know all of the facts, but even for me that was a lot. Do whatever you feel most comfortable with.

Remember your mental health is important too

In all of this craziness and making sure that your baby is safe, remember that your mental health is important too. When we went to one of Max’s doctor appointments, his pediatrician asked how we were handling everything with Covid and I told her that we really weren’t seeing anyone. She looked really concerned and told me that I needed to make sure to keep my sanity too, so if I could see people outside with a mask on, to try to do that. I’m an introvert so I didn’t totally mind not seeing a lot of people, and my friends have been great about FaceTiming me, but make sure you do whatever you can to stay sane in these crazy times.

As a parent, your main concern will likely always be your baby and your baby’s health. Parents will go to great lengths to make sure that they are not putting their kids in harm’s way, and with a virus out there that everyone is so unsure about, it’s really difficult to be a parent right now, but none of us are alone in feeling like that. Just remember that you know what is best for your baby, and in the end all we can do is our best.